Dear Stop Corrupt DSS:
I am 8 years old, soon to be 9, and all I really want is a birthday party with some presents. I am in foster care and the older foster children and the foster mother tell me that there are no birthday presents, Christmas or any other holidays allowed. Is this true? My momma (my biological mother) always told me if I saw it on your blog it was so. Would you please tell me the truth?
1224 No Home Lane
No Place, America
(not an actual letter)
I take absolutely no pleasure in writing this post, but the truth must be told and I feel I am obligated to do so.
No Virginia, there is not a Santa Claus, nor is there a Tooth Fairy or apparently a birthday party for little foster children like you. These wonderful, magical occasions are all just a figment of your imagination because your foster parents are not paid to bring you joy or give you a childhood.
Where in a normal upbringing you would experience all of the joyous, wonderful merriments of youth, YOU unfortunately, will be denied all of these things. You are just a foster child in their eyes, a burden that they have to endure to receive the funds they obtain from the state in order to “provide” for your care and sadly, this does not include the magical dreams of youth fantasy and life.
How dreary life will be for you Virginia, more so than other children…especially after you “age out” and are homeless, living on the streets, in jail or dead like so many other foster children that share your fate. More than likely, you will be made a legal orphan by the state and be denied a family to help you through your hard times.
Buckle up baby girl, because your life is going to be rough.
Virginia, you will be defeated and beaten down. You will feel unwanted and unloved. You will be denied a childhood by the very people who are supposed to be sworn to protect yours. I feel your pain and the undeniable loss of your stolen childhood. More than anything, I wish I could tell you of some heavenly ending or that a marvelous fairytale life awaits you and that you will live happily ever after, but that just would not be the truth.
Sadly, you will have no Santa Claus sneaking down your chimney at night to bring you a bag full of goodies. There will be no tooth fairy dancing into your room while you sleep for the sole purpose of seeing your gummy smile and to lay a dollar beneath your pillow. Nor will you have the elation of birthday parties thrown by people who are ecstatic that you were born and cherish your existence…
I am so sorry Virginia….
With Much Love and Regret,
Below is the actual question that I read that resulted in the above. Just the fact that a person would be so cold and heartless that they would even ask this question in mind boggling.
DO WE HAVE TO BUY OUR FOSTER KID A BIRTHDAY PRESENT? OR HAVE A PARTY?
Our foster kid turns 9 next week and she keeps telling us stuff she wants for her birthday.Also she keeps asking for a party.I thought you didn’t have to give foster kids this stuff?We buy her clothes and food and all seriously how much money do they think we should spend on her?
My idea for the above post came from one of my favorite Christmas Newspaper Editorials by Francis P. Church. Mr. Church wrote it for the New York Sun, September 21, 1897. You can see that editorial here and frankly it is a lot more cheerful and optimistic then the post I have written.
I saw the question by this foster parent and the truth of the matter is I know the foster child of this person is going to be completely crushed and heartbroken. I wanted to put it into writing so maybe others could feel the disappointment and pain that she is going to feel on her birthday and every other holiday that remains to come while this child is in this foster home.
This may be reposted, just please give me credit if you do…Thanks….